It was amazing
When Becca came home it was exhilarating to hold her. We lose so much not being able to bond with our children because the laws require that we blind them with silver nitrate for the first week or two of their lives. To this day her twin suffers the negative affects of not being able to see us and bond during those first four weeks. (Remember double silver nitrate doses.) Especially as that was all the quiet time we had to bond. Starting with week three our world turned upside down and moments I had to spend with Beth became precious and few and definitely not enough. Often the only time I had to hold and cuddle Beth were in the evening when she was already asleep. Though I held her and rocked her she was unaware and thus never cognitively knew that time was spent with her. She did not receive that eye contact needed to emotionally bond her to me and her family. Beth slept alot. We figured since she couldn’t see she had no reason to stay awake.
Back to Becca who was usually awake.. Becca did some wild things as an infant. Oddly enough if a joke was told in the room she was the first to laugh. As a newborn she laughed out loud all the time. A sweet full belly laugh that I have never before or since seen in one so young. She looked at us and smiled. And no it was not just colicky grimaces, it was full blown smiles.
As I told you she could see. She adored and relished eye contact. I swear she could look clear into your soul. She also liked patterns and colors. If I picked her up she would study my shirt intently. When I gave her to my mom Becca would study mom’s shirt. When I took her back if I had the same shirt on she would give it a cursory look and turn her head looking for something else of interest. If I had changed my shirt, which was often because she or Beth would spit up on me she would notice and spend significant time studying the new shirt pattern. This so interested me that Mom and I deliberately tested the observation out. We would pass her back and forth and change our shirts for no other reason than to see Becca’s reaction or we would leave the same shirt on one or more times in a row. Becca did not vary her responses; any new shirt was closely examined and any repeat shirt was ignored.
