Becca's Dream

Talk about things that did not need to happen. This one is the worst for us. When Becca was still an infant one of the top neurologists in the world told us if she had been properly diagnosed and treated when we first brought her into the ER she would not have lost any of her brain. Even sadder is the fact that any pediatric receptionist could have made the diagnosis, sight unseen. I know because I called seven offices (after the fact) to see what they  would say to me if I read them the list of symptoms that we had presented to the ER. 

We, however, had the great misfortune of having my physicians, fresh out of med school, new ASSociate walk into the ER that morning. The arrogant know it all basically took the case out of the ER dr’s hands and proceed to start his career in destroying peoples lives. The state of Il requires an ER Dr. to call a neonatoligist if any one of the following conditions is true of an infant presented to an ER for care.

Child was premature.

Child was part of a multiple birth.

Child is under two months old with a fever.

Child is under two months old and moaning.

Child is (wow I currently can’t remember the fifth violation.)

Well our genius discounted half of what I told him; especially my report about her being stiffer than normal for her. Granted she was still very limber compared with her sister but not compared to her norm. I argued this point over and over. He ignored me and all the Il State rules for ER infant care.  Probably didn’t even know they existed. But, that does not excuse the ER Dr. who should have and who should have stood his ground and run his own ER; not submit to some new upstart.     Misdiagnosis?   Stomach flu. Sent her home having done nothing and having consulted nothing but his own arrogant ignorance.

It was the resulting ten hour delay that caused Becca to lose her brain, her life, her place of influence, and drastically and devastatingly alter our family’s place in this world. Why can I claim this?  Because bacteria double every twenty minutes. Those ten hours took a controllable case of bacterial meningitis and turned it into encephalitis and all the other heartbreaking disastrous things we have had to endure.

Dr. Arrogance continues to practice. I heard tales of his incompetence from other patients of his for the next  five years till I moved away.  The ER Dr. I was told never recovered from the tragedy and after moving to another state left medicine altogether. That I always felt was a shame. It should have been the reverse.

As far as I go, I try not to think of what life should have been. It hurts too much. You see all these years I have had my own control, her identical twin, to let me know exactly what was lost. I have had the mother’s pain of lost dreams, of never seeing twin switching tricks, of never seeing twin companionship. The couple times they were able to confuse people with their twinness did bring great joy to my heart.  Beth’s  always knowing when Becca is in real trouble has always been a source of comfort and joy. Even when stationed in Japan Beth knew when Becca was in trouble. This past spring we found out it goes both ways. Becca started carrying her doll around and would do nothing without it.  Come to find out that Beth is pregnant.  As far as we can tell from the day of Beth’s conceiving  Becca started dragging her doll with her.